There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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