i don't like sucking hair
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
