Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize