The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
accomplished twins. life is a go
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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