Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
