i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
