She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
