You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
