you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
