Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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