friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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