His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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