stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
