I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
