I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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