yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
