Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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