I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
what day is it and did you see me today?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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