so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
