i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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