Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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