Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
