I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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