i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
