Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
