You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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