38 yer olds are good kisserssss
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize