I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
