Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize