I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
