I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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