I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
