belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
