So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
