Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
