it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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