So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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