Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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