I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
