Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
