he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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