I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
