I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
