Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she told me i tasted like america
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
