Sry I called you an 8
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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