the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize