Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
