bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
