I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
