he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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