I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize