its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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