i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
