You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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