I feel great
I just peed on a car
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
