I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
