Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
