My first STD was from a foam party
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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