When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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