Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
