i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was so not down for the gang bang
Pappa wants mamma naked
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize