we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
