I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize