Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
