Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
In other news, I just burned my penis
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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