OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
