We won't sleep together?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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